6 steps to becoming a better expectation setter

Rethinking Expectations: Here’s how to save heaps of time and energy

Dear Rethinkers,

Why do we often struggle to set clear expectations? It can really damage trust.

For me, expectations are vivid pictures in my head of how things will turn out or, even worse, how people around me will respond.  

Expectations come from beliefs that something will happen or that you will get something you want. 

Frustration, resentment, and, most of all, disappointment is closely tied to unmet, unclear, or unrealistic expectations. 

We’ve all been there…

• When the new job you start falls short of what you expected.

• The holiday when it rained every single day. 

• When a partner falls short of being ‘the one’ emotionally, sexually, financially... 

• The perfect picture of parenting that doesn’t reflect the challenging reality.

• When a big ‘night out’ falls flat.

• When you asked a colleague to do something, and the work came back sloppy.

You may have seen an equation: Disappointment = expectations – reality.

The general advice often goes like this: lower your expectations, and you will be less disappointed. I’m not too fond of this lens of expectations.

Read on to learn how you can be a better expectation setter, in six easy to follow steps.