Am I becoming irrelevant?
If you feel this, you're not alone. Let me explain.
Let’s begin with a Rethink Recap from last week:
WELCOME to all new Rethinkers who have joined our community of curious minds this week! Please introduce yourself so we can say hi 😊
I’m proud to say that Rethink with Rachel is a Substack Featured Publication for 2023! Thank you to every single reader for your time and your thoughtful comments. I deeply value your engagement and feedback on ideas.
And thank you to On.Substack for including Rethink in the article ‘How modern thinkers are expanding their ideas on Substack.’ alongside some other super writers and esteemed thinkers, including
and . Please do check them all out.The comment of the week comes from
in response to the Rethink on navigating uncertainty. He astutely commented, “I find that ‘total ignorance’ and ‘complete certainty’ are often one and the same. When people are completely certain, it’s often because they are totally ignorant of what they don’t know…”Last week saw the launch of the first in a series of Rethink Special reports into The Future of Trust and Work. I’ve had many leaders working in HR and culture tell me this has helped frame a big challenge they’re trying to solve in their businesses. This series is only accessible to paying subscribers – you can upgrade below. Read part one of the series here.
Dear Rethinkers,
This week’s newsletter is on a topic we don’t often talk about – fear of being irrelevant. Not being needed. Not being current. Not being employable. The list goes on. Search for books on fear and you’ll find hundreds. Look for one on irrelevance and you’ll find nada. Why?
The power of irrelevancy
The power of irrelevancy hit home to me last week when I was teaching a group of leaders. They’d been at Oxford University and away from their teams for almost three weeks. It was a rare window of space to purely learn and focus on their own development. We were talking about trust issues when a student’s hand shot up. “If I’m being totally honest, I’m worried that when I go back to work next week my team won’t need me so much,” she bravely admitted.
“Fantastic!” I replied. She looked at me slightly bemused. I pointed out the number of times the group had claimed a lack of time as being one of the top stresses in their jobs. Here, was a golden opportunity to gain back time!
They were unsure. More than unsure, they were nervous. Interesting.
So, I proposed…
When you go back to your teams, I want you all to ask them a question:
“Where and how am I no longer needed?”
(You can try this question with your own teams, children, or partner)
Some examples I gave:
What meeting do you no longer need to attend?
What did someone do in your absence better than yourself?
Did someone make a change that now makes something else unnecessary?
Where did someone step up and take over something that was previously your responsibility?
Great! All these things free up your time to focus on as they put it “high strategic priorities.”
But this idea of irrelevancy was deeply unsettling. It’s a feeling many of us have.
Often, it’s worry related to our relationship with work. Here’s how I’ve seen it show up:
What if people if what I have to say is no longer relevant?
Why if I say something culturally insensitive without realizing it?
What if what I have to offer is no longer in anyone’s interest?
What if no one cares about what I do or say?
Is this fuelled by ego and preserving personal identity? Sure, but it’s also tied to the highest human need (according to Maslow): BELONGING.
Fear of irrelevancy can be real and rational. For example, I’ve had friends who were great at their jobs go on maternity leave only to come back and have been made irrelevant. The person who was put in a cover role has effectively taken their job. They’re pushed aside and, eventually, they leave. Terrible.
There are also super macro fears of irrelevancy. For example, fear of AI taking your job and fear of economic irrelevance.
But most fears of irrelevance are micro: self-imposed and slightly irrational.
And when these micro fears take hold, it can create some serious trust issues – in ourselves and others. Here are some of the things it can lead to:
A crippling of creativity: We start chasing or mimicking others. It stops us from starting before even trying.
Protecting our position: A huge amount of energy (and often resources) goes into protecting our personal ‘empire’ or even a patch.
Control, control and more control! Asserting ourselves to prove that we still needed and necessary.
In many ways, irrelevance is one of the most important human fears. And yet we don’t examine it.
Where does your fear of being irrelevant creep in?
GET MORE FROM RETHINK
Upgrade to paid to read how I deal with fears of irrelevancy in my own work.
I have been completely stifled by fear of irrelevancy in my own work. I confess, a few years ago I worried that the topic of trust and my expertise was becoming irrelevant. Trust! So silly in hindsight. Here are some things I do:
(Paying subscribers read on below!)