I agree with your whole thesis on disagreement. But, people have lost ability, skill, if not interest, to reach ''across the aisle" to those they disagree with. How many readers, who agree with your essay, can relate to having healthy disagreements with others in past week?
I immediately thought of one of David Bowie's comments about creativity:
"If you feel safe in the area that you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth, and when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting."
I really appreciate this. Lately, I've been re-thinking the term "safe space" as I've heard from marginalized communities (like BIPOC and lgbtqia2s+) that no space is truly safe for them. I find maintaining the balance between belonging, comfort, and healthy discomfort is super tricky.
I've tended to think of this dynamic as the elevation of "being nice" (which is a worthy goal) above the worthier goal of "telling the truth" (as one perceives it).
Indulged in long enough, of course, we end up telling lies in the name of being nice....which doesn't seem very nice.
This posts resonate on so many levels... especially the idea of constructive disagreements. I've grown the most in areas where others challenged my ideas and I had to 'rethink' my believes, opinions or perspectives. It goes hand in hand with constructive feedback (a rare skill these days) and the irony is that when we try so hard to stay safe we become more sensitive to receiving any kind of feedback, missing out on growth opportunities.
Love this - something I desperately miss from my early twenties and childhood is ability to discuss, disagree and debate in a safe space, without fear of reprise!
“The discomfort of disagreement
Our family has a rule around the dinner table: You can disagree with one another, but you must stick around to respectfully listen to the other person’s answer. You can’t storm off.”
"You can please some of the people, some of the time . . . " is the problem with trying to create these universal comfort zones. Many years ago, I was offered what I believe is a very good definition of the word "fair"; it's a sunny day that's not too warm. We all want everyone to be objective, etc., as long as we can remain as subjective toward it as we wish. Live with others; we're not here to please each other!
I agree with your whole thesis on disagreement. But, people have lost ability, skill, if not interest, to reach ''across the aisle" to those they disagree with. How many readers, who agree with your essay, can relate to having healthy disagreements with others in past week?
I immediately thought of one of David Bowie's comments about creativity:
"If you feel safe in the area that you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth, and when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting."
I love that! Reminds me of John Keats idea of negative capability.
I really appreciate this. Lately, I've been re-thinking the term "safe space" as I've heard from marginalized communities (like BIPOC and lgbtqia2s+) that no space is truly safe for them. I find maintaining the balance between belonging, comfort, and healthy discomfort is super tricky.
Absolutely.
I've tended to think of this dynamic as the elevation of "being nice" (which is a worthy goal) above the worthier goal of "telling the truth" (as one perceives it).
Indulged in long enough, of course, we end up telling lies in the name of being nice....which doesn't seem very nice.
This posts resonate on so many levels... especially the idea of constructive disagreements. I've grown the most in areas where others challenged my ideas and I had to 'rethink' my believes, opinions or perspectives. It goes hand in hand with constructive feedback (a rare skill these days) and the irony is that when we try so hard to stay safe we become more sensitive to receiving any kind of feedback, missing out on growth opportunities.
Love this - something I desperately miss from my early twenties and childhood is ability to discuss, disagree and debate in a safe space, without fear of reprise!
“The discomfort of disagreement
Our family has a rule around the dinner table: You can disagree with one another, but you must stick around to respectfully listen to the other person’s answer. You can’t storm off.”
"You can please some of the people, some of the time . . . " is the problem with trying to create these universal comfort zones. Many years ago, I was offered what I believe is a very good definition of the word "fair"; it's a sunny day that's not too warm. We all want everyone to be objective, etc., as long as we can remain as subjective toward it as we wish. Live with others; we're not here to please each other!
Wisdom that is worth sharing.
Comfort is a creative killer. We've become too sanitised/domesticated to think out of the box.